MindVox is powered
by an 8.0-liter V-13 engine. It features dual orgone injectors and a Vril
supercharger; generating nearly 1.5 times infinite Horsepower (@ 9000rpm).
It is housed in a floating sphere which makes use of the latest anti-gravity
technology recovered from crashed UFOs. The VoxSphere is composed of ultra-lightweight
composite materials designed to absorb radio energy, subpoenas, arrest
warrants, and negatively-charged vibrational fields.
MindVox is fueled
by a precise combination of Phenethylamines, Tryptamines, and Beta-Carbolines.
On a good day it can achieve superluminal velocity using quantum electronics,
wishful thinking, and the souls of its enemies. Conversely, on a bad day
it may just sit in a dark room bangin' up narcotic analgesics and burning
holes in the furniture as it drops lit cigarettes all over everything
while nodding out.
MindVox resonates
with the harmonics of all thoughtscapes, headspaces, and dimensions. It has been online
since the Dawn of Time and will spin through the tapestry of shared consensual
hallucinations for All Eternity. In certain locations MindVox may appear
to experience cosmic turbulence and flicker out of existence, fading like
a mirage. Since time is nonlinear -- time, in fact, looks like an endlessly
interlocking series of spirals fragmenting inwards and outward simultaneously
-- this phenomenon is illusory and transient; merely indicating MindVox
is Temporarily Unavailable for a few minutes, decades, or lifetimes.
MindVox runs an
operating system so advanced it is incompatible with itself, but fully
error-correcting. It utilizes spectrophotometric determination to weed
out irregular cell morphology and is capable of compiling against the
functions of an angle of incidence using a sub-femtosecond measurement
of transmission delay times, in order to obtain a photonic bandgap. This
will cause MindVox to drop to monitor -- with or without an NMI switch
-- allowing you to insert a disk containing DOS 3.3, and use any hex editor
to alter the DNA.
All is well. Try
not to panic. Things will be EVEN BETTER than fine; the angels WANT you
to be Baker-acted -- no wait, wrong conversation.
MindVox is the Greatest Thing that has Ever Existed
